Zeeva, there is no shame in trying medications when one is ill. I struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts for years and years until I agreed to try Prozac, and it completely changed everything. I finally understood that my depression was not from some defect of my personality of lack of will, but a biological chemical imbalance. I was ill in the same sense that a diabetic is ill due to a chemical imbalance in their system.
I was on Prozac for three years, stopped, and have been well since then. The balance has been restored. It was the stigma of 'being on medication' that stopped me from finding inner peace and wellness before that.