This is so sad.. for everyone involved. I am so sorry for all the kids that have to go through this. For the guy who committed suicide, and those who loved him.
I wonder if someone can talk to the group as a whole who knew the man, sometimes if someone starts opening up about how they really feel, the others will too- and it will get their own questions answered even if they don't ask themselves.
Suicide and suicidal people is a very sensitive topic to me. As both my parents struggle with major depression. One of my parents tried to kill them-self with alcohol and pills. The other only talk of such a thing.
However, as mad and seeing them as selfish, they really are not. They are just not right in the mind, usually its both a chemical imbalance in the brain as well as living in the past or not getting over something that happened.
I understand now why both are the way they are, it is very sad to see.
I think your boys need someone to explain why a suicidal person is the way they are. How the brain works with depression and those thoughts of suicide.
When i was suicidal, there was nothing i cared to live for. In fact i was sure that EVERYONE ELSE was selfish to want me to live, this might help them get some concept of he did what he did, which is usually part of moving on from something, understanding it.
I am so sorry this happened, it really isn't fair..
I believe in the great scheme of things, everything happens for a reason, whether or not we can see it now, we are only looking at a portion of the big picture.