I'm so sorry your boys are struggling through this tough time. Losing someone you care, especially to suicide, is beyond tough.
I don't think selfish is the right word either though. Someone who is contemplating suicide really doesn't think it will have the impact on loved ones that it generally does, and they aren't thinking clearly because they're trapped in the dark hole that is depression.
As someone who has intervened in 2 suicide attempts, as well as lost countless other clients to suicide, I know how much it hurts. I hope your boys have safe healthy places where they can talk about what they're feeling! Counselling is always a great place to process those emotions, and there are also support groups for people who have lost loved ones to suicide. Maybe that's something to consider?
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