When people are in that frame of mind, they are not thinking clearly or logically... they are sick. They are not themselves; the part of their brain that thinks of loved ones, thinks of ANYTHING else, is gone. Really, they're not even thinking of the misery, etc. They're just not thinking about anything at all.
This is something I have spent a long time coming to terms with after a personal experience. I hope your boys will be able to as well.