So I was at one of my work places today (animal hospital) and this 5 month old puppy was loose in the lobby (bad idea in my opinion) and it was just so friendly to everyone and greeted everyone. And than this other dog in the lobby waiting for her appointment, and it was just waiting patiently, not barking at the people or being over thresh-hold in anyway- it just was a very stress free environment.
A splinter size of envy slipped into my thoughts on how much easier life would be and nicer for both Zelda and I, if she didn't have fear aggression towards humans.. I would even take the other dog who just was very content in the lobby, i honestly dont care for my dog treating like everyone is the best person ever, i do love those types of dog, but appreciate the ones who are also just appreciative of their people and accept strangers.
When I am on walks, i put this whole new pair of eyes on, a very attentive eyes in which has a radar for humans and their location. Hoping no one is going to come running down the street, or a group of joggers or bikers come around a corner. Or the person who persists that my dog is very sweet looking and that they can say hello.. (UM No! We are just under thresh hold, you move one more step and it will set her off, i am trying to keep her under thresh hold!)
I love Zelda very much, and she has so many good things going for her. So dont think i dont appreciate who she is as a dog, because she IS an amazing dog. And because of which i feel guilty being envious of those people.. who can go the vet without them having to get a muzzle out, or going out for a walk without getting your happy talk and super treats out, focusing on where people are and their distance on walks, hoping on walks their isn't someone on both side of the sidewalks at the same time, not having to lock my door so that people don't come in without me knowing, resenting anyone coming over to the house, not being able to bring my dog to fun dog events like Iron Dog or letting her loose at a friends house or even in my house..
These are some of my "fear aggression towards humans dog mom" confessions.