[Zeeva]

I am miserable tonight and I really don't know what to do. I've had this nagging feeling again that I should rehome or return Zeeva to her breeder. The feeling lasts awhile and then subsides only to return again, and subside, endlessly. I don't think I can live all my life turning her world upside down, separating her from us and Smokey, wondering how she's doing...the list goes on and on. I just don't know what's best for her except I know that group training will do both of us a lot of good. My husband promised if we move she'll get training but until then it's just me and my armature training sessions with her ......
I'm also worried about a few things:

-I don't want to have kids but my mom claims she'll literally die if I don't. IF I do have a kid, I don't know how I'll manage my pets, work, school and a kid. I've read and heard horror stories about dogs being neglected after a baby is born. I've read and heard that babies get priority and I don't EVER want that feeling for myself.

-I might be moving...it's making me anxious. I might be living with my parents for a while till we can save up some money to buy our own place...my critters and my Pakistani, Muslim parents...how're we all going to adjust.

-I feel like I've all the time in the world but it goes by so fast. It just doesn't make sense.

-I'll be finally going back to school for a second MS this time in biology. If I can't get into a PhD program I might as well broaden my horizons before trying again...but it just doesn't feel like progress. Especially now that I'm old(er?).

I think that's all for now.....

Thanks for reading.......