Hit by a car
My GSD puppy was hit by a car last night, which killed him instantly. I'm so torn up about it today that I can barely speak, so I thought I'd share with other dog owners, perhaps there is a similar story out there.
I was out for my evening walk with him, he was just over 3 months old. I live next to a fairly busy street, on the other side of which is a huge park, which I took him to every day. I had been trying to teach him fetch, so I walked him to the far side of the park, where there was large expanses of grass and no traffic, took him off his leash, and started flinging his ducky for him to fetch.
He brought it back once, twice, three times. On the third time, he hesitated bringing back, but I had read that it's not good to chase a dog, so I encouraged him to chase me, which involved jogging away. he chased me, and I thought I was so smart.
I threw it a fourth time, and he walked off again, so I tried to encourage him to chase me, but this time he just ran off, right toward my house, on the other side of the busy street. It was starting to get dark at that point - he was just a little black bobbing mass, heading toward home, and the road, with his ducky in his mouth.
I can run decently fast, but I had been under the weather, and he was getting faster every day, but I still caught up to him, but then realized that I had no way of stopping him, and I didn't want to kick him over, for fear of hurting him. How ironic. I didn't want to hurt him, so I let him die.
He then pulled ahead of me, and the closer we got the street, the more scared I got, and the louder I yelled at him to stop. The louder I yelled, the more scared he became, and the faster he ran. It was like a nightmare. Running, in the dark, hoping and waiting and yelling for him to stop, and to come.
He ran into the road without a second glance or hesitation, and was struck by a SUV going full speed, killing him instantly. I feel no antimosity toward the driver - my puppy was small, it was dark, and they were both going full speed. No one could have seen him in time.
I keep going over it in my head, what I could have done differently. What could have happened differently. I could have kept him on the leash, but we had done it before, and he always had come. I could have walked our other dogs with him, but they are getting older, and I wanted the puppy to get a full walk. Maybe they would have kept him from running. Maybe I could have walked him earlier, and maybe the car would have seen him in time in daylight.
Maybe the light could have been green, miracously, and he could have run through without incident. Maybe there could have been someone ahead on the path who could have caught him, but there wasn't.
None of those things happened. He's dead and it's my fault.
I let him free, even though I thought it was safe and we were far enough from the busy street (a quarter to a half mile). I didn't stop him when he ran, and I didn't train him well enough to come when called.
It's hard to express what that dog meant to me, in just the 5 weeks that I knew him. I've always wanted one of my own, but have not had the means to properly care for one for a long time, and after about 6 years of searching and a move to colorado, I finally got him and I took him home on the anniversary of the day I started looking for a new life away from oklahoma. He represented to me a new life, a fresh start, and a better tomorrow. He was everything I wanted in a puppy, and I cannot believe that a gift so right has gone so wrong.
I intend to get another one, and to try again. But I hope that he can forgive me. And I hope that I can someday forgive myself.
I'm so sorry Bear. Please forgive me.