I would stop going there. This has moved from a dog to dog encounter to an owner to owner hassle. You are looking for something he and she is not willing to give you.
I re-read your post and you did attack his wife's behaviour and he got his back up. You wanted her to say sorry, and told them then you went on to say what you would have done, emphasing what she didn't do. You judged her and you let her husband know that. I don't know the tone of your voice, but the owner of Joe took it as attitude judging by his response. You made it personal.
I am not by husband's keeper and if someone came up to me "telling" what he did or didn't do I would have defended my husband too even if I thought my husband was wrong. I would think who the heck are you telling me what my husband should have done. And I would have gone one step further and llodged a compaint against you for hasseling me. At this point he was adhering to the new requirements.
I have to agree with selzer.
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