Tammy, that is very sad.
I get the travel thing, it seems to become more of a chore when it's all on our shoulders instead of a family event.
With the dogs...maybe going in another direction and offering your local GSD rescue some free training or socialization where you can pay back the dogs from the past by helping dogs in the now. You may feel better when you feel like you've repaid them. And of course those sweet rescue dogs always make people feel better, so willing to try to trust again, they are great teachers.
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